From Generation to Generation
A O N E T A B L E G U I D E
May this intergenerational experience be an opportunity to welcome the wisdom of our elders, inspire the energy of our youth, and learn from one another with joy and openness as we celebrate Shabbat
Some of us share memories of past Friday night gatherings. For others, this Shabbat might be a first. Whatever our experience, this is an evening to create new memories across life stages, l’dor v'dor, from generation to generation. A recent study from the University of Michigan teaches four keys to intergenerational thriving: respect, responsibility, reciprocity, and resilience. Respect comes from inherited knowledge; Responsibility from providing care; Reciprocity from caring for those that have cared for us; Resilience from enduring life’s challenges. PAGE 2 ONETABLE.ORG | @ONETABLESHABBAT BLESS Wesay Shechecheyanu upondoingsomething forthefirsttime orthefirsttimeinalongtime. .הזהןמזלונעיגהוונמיקווניחהשםלועהךלמוניהלאייהתאךורב BaruchAtahAdonaiEloheinuMelechha’olam shehecheyanu v’kiyamanuv’higianulaz’manhazeh. BlessedistheOnenessthatinspirestheuniverse,sustainsus, raisesusup,andenablesustoreachthisseason. REFLECT Lookingaroundthetableandconsidertheintergenerational relationshipsrepresented—whatmemoriesofthepastor hopesforthefuturedothewordsrespect,responsibility, reciprocity,andresiliencebringupforyou? Welcome.
In Jewish tradition, lighting candles at sundown on Friday is the last act of the workweek, the literal spark that carries us into the weekend. While we will find no verse in the Torah instructing us to light two candles at dusk, the sages over the centuries linked the practice to the concepts of shamor Shabbat and zachor Shabbat, the commandments to keep and remember Shabbat
REFLECT
The beauty of Jewish tradition is not its certitude but its ambiguity; even the rabbis disagree on what exactly it means to keep and remember Shabbat. Whether we claim this ritual by passing candlelight from one generation to the next, by sharing light with friends of a different life stage, or acknowledging the youngest among you who add a spark of joy to our lives, the act of kindling light together (even if we are physically apart and sharing this experience virtually) brings us closer together
BLESS .תבשלשרנקילדהלונוצוויתוצמבונשדקרשאםלועהךלמוניהלאייהתאךורב BaruchAtahAdonaiEloheinuMelechha’olam asherkidshanu b’mitzvotavvitzivanul’hadliknershelShabbat. BlessedistheOnenessthatmakesusholythrough commandments andcommandsustokindlethelight ofShabbat.
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In Jewish tradition, Shabbat dinner includes an opportunity for parents to bless children. As inheritors of this tradition we are invited to bless one another in an intergenerational spirit that welcomes all kinds of family dynamics, from gender neutral blessings to chosen family, by turning to another guest and offering one of the blessings below, or whatever good wishes are in your heart Inspired by Keshet BLESS Bewhoyouare–andmayyoubeblessedinallthatyouare. —MarciaFalk ךרמשיוהוהיךכרבי ךנחיוךילא וינפהוהיראי םולשךלםשיוךילאוינפהוהיאשי YivarechechaAdonaiv’yishmerecha YisaAdonaipanaveilechav’yasemlechashalom Ya’erAdonaipanaveilechavichuneka Mayyoubeblessedandguarded Mayyouknowfavorandgrace Mayyoureceivekindnessandpeace MORE BLESSING OPTIONS IntergenerationalBlessing ChosenFamily QueerChosenFamily&GenderNeutralBlessings BlessingforanExpectantMother BlessingforaNewParents ChildrenBlessingParents PAGE 4 ONETABLE.ORG | @ONETABLESHABBAT Blessing one another
Many Jewish ceremonies and celebrations involve wine, and Shabbat dinner is no exception. But ritual doesn’t exist for the sake of itself, it exists to accomplish something, almost like an ancient form of technology
That’s the magic of kiddush, from the Hebrew word for holy — our ability to demarcate time, to say that this Friday night, this Shabbat dinner, this exact moment, which has never occurred before and never will again, is special.
The milestones of our intergenerational relationships mark the passage of time; our family has spanned generations and we represent that time and story around this Shabbat table.
BLESS .תבשהשדקמייהתאךורב.ןפגהירפארובםלועהךלמוניהלאייהתאךורב BaruchAtahAdonaiEloheinuMelechha’olamboreip’riha’gafen. BaruchAtahAdonaim’kadeshha’Shabbat. BlessedistheOnenessthatcreatesthefruitofthevine. Blessed istheOnenessthatsanctifiesShabbat. PAGE 5 ONETABLE ORG | @ONETABLESHABBAT Wine
When Giving Is All We Have
by Alberto Rios
One river gives Its journey to the next.
We give because someone gave to us We give because nobody gave to us.
We give because giving has changed us We give because giving could have changed us
We have been better for it, We have been wounded by it
Giving has many faces: It is loud and quiet, Big, though small, diamond in wood nails
Its story is old, the plot worn and the pages too, But we read this book, anyway, over and again:
Giving is, first and every time, hand to hand, Mine to yours, yours to mine.
You gave me blue and I gave you yellow. Together we are simple green. You gave me What you did not have, and I gave you What I had to give together, we made
Something greater from the difference
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In Jewish tradition, bread is a metaphor for life. Its ingredients are folded together just like our relationships if one is missing the experience is incomplete. Depending on the occasion, we add either salt or honey to our bread. Salt to remind us that no matter how elevated our joy this evening, there will undoubtedly be harsher times ahead and we will need each other to get through them. Honey during the holiday season, or to celebrate weddings, births, or other milestones a taste of life’s sweetness. BLESS .ץראהןמםחלאיצומה,םלועהךלמוניהלאייהתאךורב BaruchAtahAdonaiEloheinumelechha’olamha’motzilechem minha’aretz. BlessedistheOnenessthatbringsforthbreadfromtheearth. REFLECT Ourjourneysarecircuitous;wefollowedbreadcrumbstoget here.Imagineallthepeoplewhohadtocomebeforeustodrop thosecrumbs,togetustowherewearetoday.Someofthem mightbeherearoundthetable,othersarenolongerwithus. Takeamomenttosharethenameandstoryofsomeonewhose trailyouhavefollowed,someonewhohelpedyoubecomewho youare. PAGE 7 ONETABLE ORG | @ONETABLESHABBAT Bread
Gratitude
At the end of the meal it is tempting to move on, to clear the table quickly. Tonight, let’s linger over gratitude and the new perspectives we have gained by sharing this intergenerational experience. May we feel connected to the past, the present, and the fullness of the future.
BLESS .אתיפיאהדהירמאמלעדאכלמאנמחרךירב
WeareblessedwithcompassionbytheOnenessthat sustainsuswithbread. Cheers! L’chaim! May
opportunities to elevate
Brichrachamanamalkad’almamareid’haipita.
this night be the first of many
voices from all generations.
